List of news ticker messages

In the SimCity series, news ticker messages have been displayed at the bottom of the GUI since the release of SimCity 3000 up until SimCity Societies, later being omitted altogether. Their last appearance was in SimCity Deluxe on iOS and Android. Some are in response to events in the city, some are from advisors, and some are jokes made at complete random. Many running gags and puns were present in the random messages, taking the form of news headlines. For example, SimCity 3000 included many stories featuring advice by Tommy B. Saif and "Wise Guy" Sammy, anti-broccoli sentiments and a series of editorials about the shortage of Kitty Kibble.

SimCity 3000

• 50 Car Pile-Up Results In New City Sculpture
  
• 9 Out Of 10 Sims Prefer Cranberry Jelly Over Preserves
  
• After 36 Years Of Marriage, Man Discovers Wife Is Actually A Rare Yucca Plant
  
• All Raccoons Cheat At Poker, Animal Researchers Say
  
• Ancient Meteorite Revealed To Be Burnt Burger
  
• Ball Lightning Destroys Toupee But Polishes Victim's Car
  
• Bark Art Exhibition By Bark Simson
  
• Big Game Bistro Opens Amid Animal Rights Protests
  
• Black And White Ball Disrupted By Bank Robbery
  
• Black And White Ball Preparations Underway
  
• Black And White Ball Raises Money For Charity
  
• Bongos Making Big Comeback Among Unemployed Steelworkers
  
• Bookstore Gets New Copies Of SimUlations: A Love Story
  
• Boy Saves Cat From Tree, Thousands Cheer
  
• Bread Baking Books Beat Bean Broiling
  
• Broccoli Discovered To Be Colonies Of Tiny Aliens With Murder On Their Minds
  
• Broccoli Found To Cause Grumpiness In Children
  
• Broccoli Pops Cereal Not As Popular As Presumed
  
• Broccoli Tops For Moms, Last For Kids; Dads Indifferent
  
• Building Turned Into Aviary After Birds Stick To New Paint
  
• Bus Misses Turn, Dozens Late For Work
  
• Cab Fares In city name To Increase; Sims Brace For Worst
  
• Cable Disruption Blamed For Rising Birthrates
  
• Cat Burglar Spotted, Mistaken For Dalmatian
  
• Cat Hijacks Municipal Bus; Riders Applaud Good Timing At Stops And Courteous Meows
  
• Cats Demand Longer Breaks, Cleaner Litter, Slower Mice
  
• Cauliflower-Lovers Won't Let Broccoli-Eaters March In Their Neighborhood
  
• Chefs Find Broccoli Effective Tool For Cutting Cheese
  
• Citywide Blood Drive Highlights SimHealth Week
  
• city name Baker Wins Pickled Crumpet Toss Three Years Running
  
• city name Baton Twirlers To Lead Local Parade
  
• city name Makes Top 10 List
  
• city name New Ticker: Important Things You Need To Know, More Or Less
  
• city name News Ticker: A Quiet Voice Of Reason In A Noisy World
  
• city name News Ticker: Accept No Substitutes
  
• city name News Ticker: Don't Blame Us If You're Not Paying Attention
  
• city name News Ticker: Don't Blame Us, We Just Report It
  
• city name News Ticker: Easier To Find Because It Moves
  
• city name News Ticker: For When You Have To Know But Would Rather Not
  
• city name News Ticker: If It's Important To You, It Probably Is To Us Too
  
• city name News Ticker: If You Read It Here, That Means It Happened
  
• city name News Ticker: Information At A Readable Speed
  
• city name News Ticker: Information That's A Luxury, Not A Necessity
  
• city name News Ticker: Information With As Few Words As Possible
  
• city name News Ticker: Journalistic Integrity Without All The Advertising
  
• city name News Ticker: Just One Piece Of Information After Another
  
• city name News Ticker: Left To Right Through Aesthetic Design
  
• city name News Ticker: No Advertisements Since Before The Beginning
  
• city name News Ticker: Not For The Faint Of Heart
  
• city name News Ticker: Not Too Fast, Not Too Slow, Just Right
  
• city name News Ticker: Pretty Darn Accurate Most Of The Time
  
• city name News Ticker: Properly Spelled Words From Beginning To End
  
• city name News Ticker: Sometimes We're Just Here To Make You Smile
  
• city name News Ticker: Where We Report On Busses, Not Buses
  
• city name News Ticker: Your Total Information Source
  
• city name Racewalkers Win All-City Title
  
• city name Society Gather To Honor Visiting Potentate, Exchange Kitties
  
• city name Tourist Bureau Launches City Beautification Project
  
• city name Phonebooks Print All Wrong Numbers; Results In 15 New Marriages
• Consider A Career In Garbage Collection
  
• Crime Lord Spotted In city name; Mayor Says "No Comment"
  
• Cross-Eyed Python Found To Be Running Successful Chain Of All-Night Laundromats
  
• Cure For Senility Found, But Lost Before Being Recorded
  
• Daily Special At Restaurant Found To Be Big Fat Lie
  
• Ditzy Debutante Mistakes Broccoli Floret For Nosegay
  
• Don't Forget To Pick Up Your Litter
  
• Doughnuts: Is There Anything They Can't Do?
  
• Eagerly Awaited Llama Exhibition Coming Soon
  
• Eckelberry Marmalade May Cure Hiccups, Doctors Say
  
• Esoteric Verbosity Culminates In Communicative Ennui, Teachers Note
  
• Experts Advise Using Sunblock As Sunny Weather Continues
  
• Eyes Move While Reading Tickers, Scientists Speculate
  
• Famed Prognosticator Warns "Disaster Awaits Us All"
  
• Floor Sweepings Found To Be Tangier Than Salt And Pepper
  
• For More Information, Send 9 Million Simoleons To The "Broccoli Education Foundation"
  
• Foreign Potentate Becomes Lost In city name, Refuses To Ask For Directions
  
• Former High School Principal Caught Licking Stamps Behind Post Office Counter
  
• Four In Five city name Children Won't Eat Mono-Colored Cereals
  
• French Kissing Leads To Higher Croissant Use, Authorities Warn
  
• Fresh Fruit In Season Is Berry, Berry Good
• Giant Hairball Has Perfect Grammar, Linguists Say
  
• Girl Rides Bicycle Across City Phone Wires; Arrested For Eavesdropping
  
• Gravy Tastes Better When Loudly Slurped; Scientists Baffled
  
• Gymnastics Program Growing By Leaps And Bounds
  
• Ham-Handedness Doesn't Lead To Higher Cholesterol, Researchers Declare
  
• "Hang Up And Drive" Say Citizens Against Cell Phones
• Heads Roll When Rollerblader Hits Tourist Group
  
• Here Comes The Sun
  
• House Made Entirely Of Broccoli Built In city name; Furniture Made Of Wheat Germ
  
• Humming Show Tunes Sure Sign Of Poor Motor Skills, Researchers Declare
  
• I Was Framed, Jokes Local Artist
  
• "I'm Just A Sim, Sim, Simple Guy" Rises To Top Of Charts
• If Tin Whistles Are Made Of Tin, What Do They Make Foghorns Out Of?
  
• Information Shown Here Frequently Absurd, Poll Indicates
  
• Lady's Knitting Circle Raises Cash For Homeless
  
• Linguistics Experts Discuss "Left To Right Or Right To Left; Is One Better?"
  
• Local Cop Found To Be Ticketing Only Lantern-Jawed Males
  
• Local Kindergartners Prefer Oi Brand Paste; Claim It Just Tastes Better
  
• Local Mustard Magnate Marries Daughter Of Dill Pickle Mogul
  
• Local Politicians Take Both Sides Of Issues, Little Accomplished
  
• Local Scientists Conclude: Kitties Like Fish, Dogs Less Picky
  
• Local Sim Bill Flopsby Heads County Commission On Snuggles And Hugs
  
• Local Sim Discovers Just Who Wrote Book Of Love
  
• Local Sim Mentioned In Out Of Town Newspaper; Starts Scrapbook
  
• Lou Turns Away Every Person Who Skips To Her; "They Have No Rhythm," She Says
  
• Lunar Eclipse Obscured By Clouds
  
• Lying Found To Be Effective Calorie Reducer
  
• Man Caught Shoplifting Spatulas; Thousands Of Flippers Found In Bedroom
  
• Man Discovers Neighbor Completely Enclosed In Mailbox; Returns Him For Postage
  
• Man Survives Wintry Night Adhered To Bus Bench By Chewing Gum
  
• Marathon! Sims Hit The Ground Running
  
• Mediums Agree Blue-Striped Socks No More Lucky Than Clovers Or Pennies
  
• Middle Age A Hoax, Declares Study; Turns Out To Be Bad Posture After All
  
• Miracle Lint Remover Based On Broccoli Juice Sweeps Market
  
• Molasses Truck Springs Leak; Sweetest Accident In Long Time
  
• Most Sims Ignore Tickers, Study Reveals
  
• Mrs. SimLeary Gets Prize Cow
  
• Mysterious Loud Rumbling Noises In city name Found To Be Mysterious Loud Rumblings
  
• Never Feed Broccoli To Your Dog, No Matter How Much He Begs
  
• Newspaper Boy Crime Ring Cracked: Read All Over
  
• Nutritionists Aver That Eating Broccoli Encourages Higher Bowling Scores
  
• Oliver "Slim Jim" Golonsky Wins city name Inter-Location Obstacle Race
  
• Ordinary Days In city name Become Common
  
• Original Magna Carta Found Written On Large Broccoli Stalk
  
• Pigeon Alert! Extreme Pigeon Danger!
  
• Pistol Packing Punks Pilfer Precious Petunias
  
• Pot-Bellied Pigs Named Bob Convention Highlight Of Season
  
• Psychic K.C. Edgars Predicts City To Grow
  
• Public Displays Of Affection Common Sight Near City Hall
  
• Public Service Message: Pooper Scoopers Urged When Walking Dogs
  
• Rap Music Causes Hangnails, Study Shows.
  
• Regional Catsup King Cousin To Tie Knot With Toothpick Tycoon
  
• Rock Star Spotted In Llama Fur Near Casa Del Sticky
  
• Rockin' Good Thrash Metal Found To Reverse Aging Process
  
• School Field Trip To Museum Sparks Interest In Local History
  
• Scientists Assert That Swearing Is Source Of Bad Breath
  
• Semicolon Declared Sexier Than Comma At Grammarian's Fete
  
• Shopping After Hours Source Of Purchase Embarrassment Says Survey
  
• Sim Offers To Let City Bus Run Him Over For Lifetime Salad Bar Privileges
  
• Sim Scientist Discovers Gravity While Falling Down Stairs
  
• SimFirefighters Wanted: Apply At Your Local Fire Station
  
• SimNation Report: Criminals Demand Cell Phones
  
• SimNation To Host Energy Symposium
  
• SimPolice Officers Wanted: Apply At Your Local Police Precinct
  
• SimScientist Discovers Abacus Can Be Used To Dry Towels
  
• SimScientist Discovers New Dry Cleaning Method Using Sparklers
  
• SimSurvey Reports Rise in Vegetarian Sims
  
• SimSurvey: "Cheese Louise" Voted Best Pizza Restaurant In city name
  
• SimSurvey: 3 Out Of 5 Sims Loathe Modern Art
  
• SimSurvey: 4 Out Of 5 Sims Prefer Hard Cheese To Brie
  
• SimSurvey: 4 Out Of 5 Sims Surveyed Find Surveys Satisfactory
  
• SimSurvey: 50% Of Sims Say YES
  
• SimSurvey: 80% Of Sims Hang Up On Telephone Solicitors
  
• SimSurvey: 80% Of Sims Love Clog-Dancing
  
• SimSurvey: Sims Sleep Seven Hours
  
• Sims Everywhere Agree: A Sound Financial Future Begins With Inheriting Lots Of Money
  
• Sims Everywhere Agree: All Sales Are Final
  
• Sims Everywhere Agree: Brush Before, After, And Between Meals
  
• Sims Everywhere Agree: For The Best In News Ticker Entertainment, The Picayune Can't Be Beat
  
• Sims Everywhere Agree: Frequent Saving Prevents File Loss
  
• Sims Everywhere Agree: Good Grooming Is Essential To Success
  
• Sims Everywhere Agree: History Laughs At Many People Who Deserved To Be Laughed At
  
• Sims Everywhere Agree: If You Throw A Stone, It Will Hit Something
  
• Sims Everywhere Agree: It's Not What You Make, It's What You Keep
  
• Sims Everywhere Agree: Past Performance Does Not Guarantee Future Returns
  
• Sims Everywhere Agree: Purring Kitties Are Happy Kitties
  
• Sims Everywhere Agree: The Egg Came First, But Only After The Chicken
  
• Sims Everywhere Agree: Vote Early, Vote Often
  
• Sims Everywhere Agree: Your Actual Costs May Vary
  
• Sims Flock To Grand Opening Of Betty's Bird Boutique
  
• Sims Report Widespread SimAnt Problem
  
• Skirmish At Writer's Workshop, Speaker Used Fighting Words
  
• Some Destruction, But Not Too Much, In Practical Joke Derby
  
• Spotted Owl Spotted
  
• Stand Up And Cheer If You Like SimCity
  
• Staring At Football-Shaped Bladders Good For Concentration, Researchers Proclaim
  
• Staring At Lapping Ocean Waves Makes You More Assertive During Lunch
  
• State Governor Found To Be Mule; "His Clothes Always Fit Funny," Says Aide
  
• Studies Show Most Sims Mispronounce "Zsdersw"
  
• Study Demonstrates That Singing In The Shower Makes Teeth Crooked
  
• Survey Shows Less Is More, More Or Less
  
• Swamp Gas Verified To Be Exhalations Of Stars--Movie Stars--Long Passed
  
• Tainted Broccoli Weapon Of Choice For Global Assassins
  
• Talking Broccoli Hosts Talk Show; Guests A "Bunch Of Vegetables"
  
• Tapped Out: Local Brewery Closes Its Doors.
  
• Ten Teachers With Cardiac Arrest After Students Declare Love Of Beowulf
  
• This Space For Rent
  
• Timmy Falls Down Well, Climbing Needs Work
  
• Tip Of The Day Provides Interesting Tidbits, Mayors Agree
  
• Today's Forecast: Cold, Cloudy, With Occasional Showers
  
• Today's Forecast: Sunny, High 70's, Winds From The East
  
• Today's Forecast: Windy And Cooler Than Yesterday
  
• Traveling Truck Technician Talks Transmissions Tuesday
  
• Tree Stuck In Cat; Firefighters Baffled
  
• Truckload Of Apples Overturns, city name Diner Offers Applesauce Special
  
• Typist Involved In Winter Traffic Accident, White-Out Conditions Blamed
  
• UFO Seen And Disavowed
  
• Unsalted Tortilla Chips Best Cure For Colds Says Health Nut
  
• "Weasels Are Warm And Wonderful" Day At city name Mall
• Weasel Rejected As city name's Crime-Fighting Mascot
  
• Weather Likely To Become Different Before Changing
  

• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: A Person Who Likes Cats Can't Be All Bad
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: Better To Aim High And Miss Then To Aim Low And Hit
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: Check Your Facts Before Making A Fool Of Yourself
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: Help Is The Sunny Side Of Control
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: If You Made The Mess, You Clean It Up
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: It Is Easier To Get Forgiveness Than Permission
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: It's Better To Yield Right Of Way Than To Demand It
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: It's Hard To Have Too Much Shelf Space
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: Lightning Often Strikes The Same Place More Than Once
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: One Word In This Ticker Is Mispelled
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: One Word In This Ticker Is Sdrawkcab (Backwards)
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: One Word In This Ticker Is Wrong
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: Reading Improves The Mind And Lifts The Spirit
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: The Insides Of Golf Balls Are Mostly Rubber Bands
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: Two Points Determine A Straight Line
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: Wine And Friendships Get Better With Age
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: You Can't Outwait A Bureaucracy
  
• From The Desk Of Wise Guy Sammy: You Don't Have To Fool All The People, Just The Right Ones

• Rumor Of Kitty Kibble Shortage Causes Futures To Drop; Consumers Stockpile
  
• Local Merchants Puzzled By Rumors Of Kitty Kibble Shortage; "We Have Plenty," Say Most
  
• Kitties Concerned By Rumors Of Kitty Kibble Shortage; Owners In Panic
  
• No Kitty Kibble Shortage Says Local Representative Of Kitty Kibble Association
  
• Is Kitty Kibble Shortage Real? Authorities Say Rumors Unfounded
  
• Unlicensed Kitty Kibble Factory Fuels Rumors Of Shortage
  
• Enough Kitty Kibble For Twenty Years, Experts Agree
  
• Kitty Kibble Association Flooded With Letters: Where Is Kitty Kibble?
  
• Is Kitty Kibble Shortage A Hoax? Sims Search For Truth
  
• Rumors Persist In Kitty Kibble Shortage; Unfounded Say Many
  
• Kitties Want Answers In Possible Kitty Kibble Shortage
  
• Kitties Say Not Enough Being Done In Kitty Kibble Shortage
  
• No Kitty Kibble Shortage, Officials Insist; Kitties Skeptical
  

• Tommy B. Saif Sez: Accept No Substitutes, And Don't Be Fooled By Imitations
  
• Tommy B. Saif Sez: Always Mix Thoroughly When So Instructed
  
• Tommy B. Saif Sez: Change Not Given Without Purchase
  
• Tommy B. Saif Sez: Do Not Remove This Tag Under Penalty Of Law
  
• Tommy B. Saif Sez: Eating And Drinking On Station Platforms Is Prohibited
  
• Tommy B. Saif Sez: Hold On; Sudden Stops Sometimes Necessary
  
• Tommy B. Saif Sez: If You Break It, You Buy It
  
• Tommy B. Saif Sez: Keep Fingers Away From Moving Panels
  
• Tommy B. Saif Sez: Look Both Ways Before Crossing The Street
  
• Tommy B. Saif Sez: No Left Turn, Except Buses
  
• Tommy B. Saif Sez: Reservations Must Be Cancelled 48 Hours Prior To Event To Obtain Refund
  
• Tommy B. Saif Sez: Return Seats And Trays To Their Proper Upright Position
  
• Tommy B. Saif Sez: Stay Within The Crosswalk
  
• Tommy B. Saif Sez: Try To Keep Six Month's Expenses In Reserve

SimCity Societies

Filler Lines

Filler lines appear as white, and can be toggled off in the "News Ticker History" window.

• Citizens of ~CityName~ demand more llamas
• Four of every nineteen ~CityName~ residents agree: Water feels wetter this year
• ~CityName~ news crawls reported to consist mostly of nonsense
• Hot Dog eating champ to visit ~CityName~. Area hot dog vendors eager
• Opinion poll: Sunrise: Once a day plenty? ~CityName~ residents say: Yes
• Sim kids prefer pizza to vegetables: Expert Analysis later
• Poll Results: ~CityName~ Mascot: AstroTitans - 47% - - - Fleas - 16% - - - Platinum Knights - 13% - - - Lions, Tigers and Bears - 12% - - - Others - 12%
• Local boy gets caught in gorilla cage
• Alien invasion reports revealed to be a hoax
• Area eccentric reports dogs meowing, cats barking
• Anxious citizens report anxiety causes nervousness
• ~CityName~ race team sails into history with seventh consecutive SimNation's Cup win
• Feuding families fuel fires with fallacies
• Dozens injured as game of 'leapfrog' goes awry
• ~CityName~ Explorers Club says mapmakers are ruining their hobby
• Skydiving enthusiasts to leap from plane
• Sim previously reported dead claims he is alive: Doctors to consult
• ~CityName~ being considered as benefit concert site
• Copycat criminal convicted.  To serve the same sentence
• Cow catapult decried by animal-rights activists, beef lovers
• Caesar demands wine!
• Birds flock to city parks
• Sims still steaming over stuck spigot
• Sims with pets petition mayor for parks
• Cold snap linked to low temperatures
• New study shows infertility unlikely to be inherited
• Research shows taking candy from babies not so easy
• Siamese twins to rejoin parents
• City salutes several Sims
• Mogul's dying words' meaning unknown - SimNewsNetwork Investigates
• Prison escape: new evidence reveals jailed banker's innocence
• Shark fisherman and boat eaten: Shark still at large
• Local artist wins mustache-growing competition
• Op-Ed: "Whatever it is, we're against it."
• Local doctor discovers cure for fear of snakes: "Don’t go near snakes"
• Area woman reports lunch stolen from office refrigerator. Investigator: "We have several promising leads"
• Motorists complain about each other's driving skills
• ~CityName~ resident discovers donut which looks like ~MayorName~
• Pharaoh's edicts unheeded - Resident: "We haven't had a pharaoh in thousands of years"
• Meteorologist picnic cancelled due to heavy rains
• Peep sheep comes home, tail not far behind
• Campfire ghost tales frighten youths
• Pumpkin Pie cook-off held, judges stuffed
• Area restaurants offer free lunches, proving there is such a thing
• Moon rocks shown to originate from lunar regions
• Newscasters union welcomes insect overlords
• Chess prodigy defeated by kangaroo
• Number of BellicoForm Online players surpasses world population
• Signs of water discovered on distant planets: Beachfront property available soon
• Market indicators fluctuating daily. Expert: "There's some ups and some downs"
• Auto maker recalls 200,000 vehicles shipped without seats. "There's simply nowhere to sit," say experts
• Computer entertainment museum to open with classic games tournament
• SimNation hires computer security czar
• Radio shock jock offends nation with offensive, shocking commentary on situation
• Celebrity embarrasses self, nation with overseas antics
• SimNation retailers report Sims buy stuff in stores, online
• Area psychic settles debate over abilities by winning twelfth consecutive lottery jackpot
• Acclaimed spy novelist ~RandomSimName~ wanted for questioning by SimNation authorities on suspicion of espionage
• Social networking websites blamed for worldwide decrease in social networking
• Space shuttle launch successful. Astronauts forget map, immediately get lost
• Simuda Quadrangle disappearances blamed on the paranormal
• Sunrise expected to bring light, warmth to world
• Popularity of cordless bungee jumping in sharp decline
• Local Sim wins astronaut competition, will fly in space
• The Mustachioes Gang still at large. Police have no leads
• Local Sim to pay parking ticket without complaint
• Study shows increase in frivolous lawsuits: Bar Association to sue study group, wants retraction
• Report: News ticker censor caught feeding a stray kitten with milk and treats
• Sims decry obscene constellation - stars to realign
• Diners outraged as seafood eateries scrimp on shrimp due to crustacean rationing
• Reardon Park Irregulars crowned as ~CityName~ Touch Football champions
• New product launch slows city business as thousands wait in line for days
• ~CityName~ residents found to prefer fun or relaxing vacations over work. Film at 11
• Tale discovered to be of more woe than that of Juliet and her Romeo
• ~CityName~ Pirate Squid Club recruiting
• Spelling Bee champ to visit ~CityName~; eager fans await
• Sim on the street interviews: ~RandomSimName~: "Yes! Most emphatically yes!"
• Police seeking three-armed burglar: No description available
• ~RandomSimName~ finds 20 Simoleons in cash on the street -- seeking original owner
• Details of conspiracy remain shrouded in mystery
• Experts predict future to hold technological breakthroughs
• Secret organization suspected to be responsible for distribution of take-out menus
• Heroic dog rescues toddler
• Bread Bakers International reports study showing increased sandwich consumption linked to long life
• ~RandomSimName~ voted Supreme Ruler of ~CityName~ for an hour -- spends entire reign on lunch break
• Outraged Sim to write angry letters
• Meddling kids avert villainous plot
• Pork Farmers' Union reports study showing bacon-wrapped hot dogs to be good for the heart
• SimNation National Zoo to replace llama exhibit with polar bear display
• ~RandomSimName~ reports finding hair in home-made soup; had nobody to send it back to
• Ghosts, poltergeists, and zombies blamed for SimNation's hauntings
• Nationwide decrease in work productivity linked to release of new game
• Sim on the street interviews: ~RandomSimName~: "I'm not really sure."
• Winner of ~CityName~ marathon revealed to be a cyborg -- second-place finisher to receive first prize
• Century-old documents show life was different a century ago
• Style Report: Onions worn on belts going out of fashion
• ~MayorName~ holds press conference, answers all questions, "Madness? This is ~CityName~!"
• ~RandomSimName~ flips a coin, and it doesn't come down. Investigation underway
• Exhausted athletes relax after ~CityName~ cyber games draw to a close
• ~CityName~ advertisers attempt to lure customers by extolling product virtues
• Lack of bad news causes panic among nervous, paranoid Sims
• Meteorologists report they could eliminate rain showers by erecting a dome over ~CityName~
• ~RandomSimName~ charged with depraved indifference in parking ticket case
• ~RandomSimName~ expected to continue shenanigans indefinitely
• ~CityName~ Lunchtime Sports League revitalizes participants
• ~RandomSimName~ reports indescribable sensation of being clicked on
• Must-have products released to market. Sims clamor to own them (Capitalist Society)
• SimNation Financial reports: All sectors thriving (Capitalist Society)
• SimNation retailers report record profits in last quarter (Capitalist Society)
• Citizens bemoan widespread success and wealth. ~RandomSimName~: "It's hard to brag about being rich when everyone is." (Capitalist Society)
• Poll of SimNation "Haves" and "Have-Nots": ~CityName~ residents are "Haves" (Capitalist Society)
• World business leaders to convene in ~CityName~ (Capitalist Society)
• Corporate profits expected to reach new highs this quarter (Capitalist Society)
• ~CityName~ psychiatric business booming as residents report 'Success Neurosis' (Capitalist Society)
• SimNation economic growth stimulated by nation's leaders visiting ~CityName~ (Capitalist Society)
• Market Watch: Shares of ~CityName~ businesses on the rise (Capitalist Society)
• A car in every Home? SimNation auto makers targeting prosperous residents of ~CityName~ (Capitalist Society)
• Retailers scramble for precious space in ~CityName~ (Capitalist Society)
• Consumer culture of ~CityName~ cited in national production increases (Capitalist Society)
• Sim on the street interview -- ~RandomSimName~: "It feels good to live in ~CityName~. We're on top of the world" (Capitalist Society)
• ~CityName~ named most tranquil place in SimNation (Contemplative Society)
• ~RandomSimName~ to receive total consciousness (Contemplative Society)
• ~CityName~ to be featured in FaithLife Semi-Weekly article on centers of devotion (Contemplative Society)
• Heroes to be honored in small, quiet ceremony (Contemplative Society)
• ~CityName~ to adopt slogan: "In ~CityName~, they're all the scenic route" (Contemplative Society)
• GivingWeek magazine names ~CityName~ "Most Charitable City in SimNation" (Contemplative Society)
• ~CityName~ residents give until it hurts, then give some more (Contemplative Society)
• Traditionalists flock to ~CityName~. ~RandomSimName~: "It's like moving to the good old days." (Contemplative and Small Town Societies)
• Faith spirals to new highs in ~CityName~ -- miracles expected presently (Contemplative Society)
• ~RandomSimName~ reports reliance on kindness of neighbors has helped in this ~CityName~ life (Contemplative Society)
• Sims in ~CityName~ find slow, deliberate pace of life relaxing (Contemplative Society)
• Charity centers in ~CityName~ overwhelmed with donations from residents (Contemplative Society)
• Residents of SimNation looking to ~CityName~ residents for hope and optimism (Contemplative Society)
• SimNation criminal finds reformation and redemption in travels to ~CityName~ (Contemplative Society)
• ~CityName~ residents to honor and remember ancestors with solemn ceremony (Contemplative Society)
• Executives acquitted in corporate corruption trial (Cyberpunk Society)
• Suspect in computer virus attack still at large. ~RandomSimName~ wanted for questioning (Cyberpunk Society)
• SimNation's top technology advisor: "I have seen the future, and it is ~CityName~." (Cyberpunk Society)
• ~CityName~ on the bleeding edge of technological advances (Cyberpunk Society)
• ~RandomSimName~, area futurist: "In the future, most world cities will look more like ~CityName~" (Cyberpunk Society)
• ~CityName~: City of Heathens? Local clerics report low turnout at services (Cyberpunk Society)
• Sky becomes the color of television, tuned to a dead channel. Channel to be changed shortly (Cyberpunk Society)
• Sect of outlaw Sims attempt to escape ~CityName~ on computer networks (Cyberpunk Society)
• ~CityName~ Management Network AI showing early signs of rampant behavior. Residents on edge (Cyberpunk Society)
• ~CityName~Corp acquires ~RandomWorkplaceName~ for record sum (Cyberpunk Society)
• SimNation computer security czar to visit ~CityName~ on fact-finding mission (Cyberpunk Society)
• Space station deployment successful -- permanent settlements to open soon (Cyberpunk Society)
• World computer networks invaded by new generation virus -- Automated Virus Detection system put to the test (Cyberpunk Society)
• Asteroid miners' rebellion put down by Lunar authorities (Cyberpunk Society)
• Time travel to be perfected by future scientists -- travelers to have visited ~CityName~ (Cyberpunk Society)
• ~RandomSimName~ installs SimCity Societies on home PC, creating infinite recursion loop, endangering the stability of the Sim universe (Cyberpunk Society)
• Today is ~RandomSimName~'s birthday! (Fun Society)
• ~CityName~ Resident of the Month: ~RandomSimName~ (Fun Society)
• ~MayorName~ applauded by ~CityName~ residents for keeping things loose (Fun Society)
• Sim on the street interview: ~RandomSimName~: "I expect the best will come of it" (Fun Society)
• Breakthrough at ice cream laboratories discovers cure for brain freeze (Fun Society)
• Flower Day celebration deemed a success. City leaders to consider an annual festival (Fun Society)
• ~RandomWorkplaceName~ declares working holidays twice a week (Fun Society)
• Community theater group to perform local playwright's work (Fun Society)
• SimNation Fun and Games Convention to be held in ~CityName~ (Fun Society)
• Do Sims in ~CityName~ have more fun? A recent study says: Yes! (Fun Society)
• ~CityName~ hosts barbecue cook-off -- aroma draws crowds (Fun Society)
• Spontaneous block parties held on successive weekends (Fun Society)
• Area curmudgeon complains about lack of complaints: "What's there to be unhappy about in this infernal place? (Fun Society)
• Party report: A good time was had by all (Fun Society)
• ~CityName~ residents plan to bake world's largest cake (Fun Society)
• Ghost Hunters International to establish yet another base in ~CityName~ (Haunted Society)
• Residents mostly ignore blood-curdling screams piercing ~CityName~ nights (Haunted Society)
• ~CityName~ named 'Creakiest City in SimNation' by Creaky Old Structures TriMonthly (Haunted Society)
• Area psychics, exorcists report booming business (Haunted Society)
• Area Ghosts, Zombies reporting increased sightings of the mythical living (Haunted Society)
• Ghost of former Police Chief appointed to City Council (Haunted Society)
• Area citizens abuzz with reports of wendigo sighting on ~CityName~ outskirts (Haunted Society)
• Flying Dutchman crew to take shore leave in ~CityName~ (Haunted Society)
• ~RandomSimName~ to conduct Scaring Seminar -- open to the public (Haunted Society)
• Reminder: Keep your werewolves and three-headed hounds leashed in public (Haunted Society)
• Legends say ~RandomWorkplaceName~ is not haunted... area citizens uncertain (Haunted Society)
• Poll shows tricks more popular than treats in ~CityName~ (Haunted Society)
• Shadows extended by ~CityName~ Darkness and Shade Commission (Haunted Society)
• Roving youths frightened by increased light of sunrise (Haunted Society)
• Which is scarier, Ghosts or Zombies? The great debate continues (Haunted Society)
• ~CityName~ bareknuckle boxing champion, ~RandomSimName~, to visit area recreational clubs (Industrial Society)
• Downtrodden masses to bemoan living conditions (Industrial Society)
• Corporate profits showing record highs due to massive benefit cutbacks (Industrial Society)
• ~CityName~ rats, pests to unionize, demand benefits for increased infestations (Industrial Society)
• ~CityName~ residents cutting back on excesses. ~RandomSimName~: "This whole 'three meals a day' thing is over-rated" (Industrial Society)
• ~CityName~ given SimNation's tired, poor, and huddled masses -- ignores them (Industrial Society)
• Are ~CityName~ residents SimNation's hardest working Sims? Film at 11 (Industrial Society)
• Electoral fraud? ~CityName~ poll results under national scrutiny (Industrial Society)
• ~CityName~ Labor Union quashed by industry leaders (Industrial Society)
• ~RandomSimName~ reaches outskirts of ~CityName~, turns back: "There are some places no Sim was meant to go" (Industrial Society)
• Brawl in unemployment line leads to several arrests (Industrial Society)
• Hopelessness on the rise in ~CityName~ as corporate cutbacks increase (Industrial Society)
• ~CityName~ residents to solicit nation's charities for assistance (Industrial Society)
• Residents find hope in championship victory of underdog team (Industrial Society)
• Anti-corporate rally falters as ~RandomSimName~ surrenders leadership post -- bribery suspected (Industrial Society)
• ~CityName~ residents quake in the iron fist of ~MayorName~ (Authoritarian Society)
• All is well in ~CityName~...All is well in ~CityName~...All is well in ~CityName~ (Authoritarian Society)
• ~CityName~'s enemies demoralized by recent losses, residents to surrender their wills shortly (Authoritarian Society)
• Symphony in honor of ~MayorName~ playing on all frequencies (Authoritarian Society)
• ~CityName~ Resident of the Month: ~MayorName~! Again! (Authoritarian Society)
• New research shows research is overrated: "We in ~CityName~ find that truthiness is much simpler." (Authoritarian Society)
• ~MayorName~ is watching you. You love ~MayorName~ (Authoritarian Society)
• Today's weather: Dreary. Seven day forecast: Dreary (Authoritarian Society)
• Party members to be rewarded with loyalty bonuses (Authoritarian Society)
• ~RandomSimName~ denounced by neighbors as having rebellious thoughts -- investigation underway (Authoritarian Society)
• Loyalty rally to be accompanied by live appearance by ~MayorName~ -- ~CityName~ residents eager (Authoritarian Society)
• Armies of ~CityName~ to vanquish enemies in glorious combat (Authoritarian Society)
• Traitors to be jailed, corrected, and released once sufficiently loyal (Authoritarian Society)
• ~RandomWorkplaceName~ to receive prize from city for continued loyalty of employees (Authoritarian Society)
• ~RandomSimName~ to be awarded amateur poetry prize (Romantic Society)
• ~CityName~ celebrations among SimNation's best (Romantic Society)
• ~CityName~ named "Most Artistic City" in SimNation by ArtFriends Bicentennially (Romantic Society)
• Community Arts group to hold festival near ~CityName~ (Romantic Society)
• Annual Renaissance Faire breaks attendance records (Romantic Society)
• Foreign expatriate artists, poets settling in ~CityName~. "It's a comfortable place for people in our line of work." (Romantic Society)
• Tranquility of ~CityName~ inspiring to many, draws praise from arts community (Romantic Society)
• Sons of ~CityName~ men's club to establish annual visual arts prize (Romantic Society)
• Problems of the world are left behind with a visit to ~CityName~ (Romantic Society)
• ~CityName~ intellectuals to organize Brain Games (Romantic Society)
• Epic poem composed about grand history of ~CityName~ (Romantic Society)
• ~CityName~ named Artistic Capital of SimNation (Romantic Society)
• ~CityName~ residents celebrate continued peace and prosperity under ~MayorName~ (Romantic Society)
• Lost artwork by classic master found in attic by ~RandomSimName~ (Romantic Society)
• Foreign cultures embraced in ~CityName~ World Culture festival (Romantic Society)
• ~CityName~, plain and small -- local youths complain of boredom, lack of direction (Small Town Society)
• ~CityName~ High sports teams to play rivals in annual showdown (Small Town Society)
• ~RandomSimName~ considers running for City Council (Small Town Society)
• Local useless knowledge talent to square off in ~CityName~ Trivia Showdown (Small Town Society)
• Polls indicate ~CityName~ residents see a better tomorrow (Small Town Society)
• Weather report: The sun'll come out tomorrow (Small Town Society)
• Stoplight debate enters seventh week of stalemate -- resolution not expected soon (Small Town Society)
• ~CityName~ tabbed for Quaint Escapes Bi-Daily magazine's cover feature (Small Town Society)
• Sanitation Commissioner's race to be contested for the first time in years (Small Town Society)
• ~CityName~ Historical Society seeking volunteers for document re-organization (Small Town Society)
• Cat stuck in tree rescued by cooperation of local citizens (Small Town Society)
• Large turnout expected for ~CityName~ annual Founder's Day Barbecue (Small Town Society)
• City council to convene for special meeting to discuss street cleaning (Small Town Society)
• Sim on the street interview -- ~RandomSimName~ : "These things don't affect me all that much, really" (Small Town Society)
• Area bicyclists to form club. Contact ~RandomSimName~ for information (Added in Destinations)
• Trouble at the top: organization tainted by scandal (Added in Destinations)
• Launch of prototype airplane delayed by high winds (Added in Destinations)
• Sports officials probed in bribery investigation (Added in Destinations)
• Pharmaceutical company launches new pill with no health benefits or side effects -- Sims demand prescriptions for it (Added in Destinations)
• Star athlete to miss remainder of season after hopscotch-related injury (Added in Destinations)
• SimNation mourns passing of popular celebrity (Added in Destinations)
• Major flag manufacturers to merge, creating unstoppable world-wide flag manufacturing mega-corporation (Added in Destinations)
• Scientists decode whale song language -- whales sue for invasion of privacy (Added in Destinations)
• Radio telescope receives possible signal proving existence of intelligent alien life (Added in Destinations)
• Soda conglomerate increases prices by 1 percent -- ~RandomSimName~: "I may never drink soda again!" (Added in Destinations)
• Psychiatrists determine traffic to be leading cause of road rage (Added in Destinations)
• Fundraising walk held to raise funds for organizers of fundraising walks (Added in Destinations)
• This news-crawl item is not a joke (Added in Destinations)
• Film-making contest won by professional film crew -- organizers to reconsider eligibility requirements (Added in Destinations)
• ~CityName~ civic leaders to endorse civic pride (Added in Destinations)
• Angel food cake named the official cake flavor of ~CityName~ amid controversy (Added in Destinations)
• ~CityName~ voters elect bacon the city's official breakfast side dish (Added in Destinations)
• Scientists attempt to formulate bacon-flavored cake -- suspicious onlookers predict culinary disaster (Added in Destinations)
• Area park to hold rubber duck race -- tickets sold out (Added in Destinations)
• Local family welcomes new pet bunny (Added in Destinations)
• Geneticist formulates fruit tree which bears no fruit -- realizes his entire endeavor was pointless (Added in Destinations)
• Local blogger updates irregularly, unsure if anyone is reading (Added in Destinations)
• Haunted areas shown to contain ghosts (Added in Destinations)
• Hyenas, kittens rank among SimNation's rudest animals in recent poll (Added in Destinations)
• Marathon board-game session renders players incapable of doing anything without rolling dice first (Added in Destinations)
• Blogging competition results in fierce exchange, tired fingers (Added in Destinations)
• ~RandomSimName~ dials wrong number, hangs up (Added in Destinations)
• Office workers distracted by internet show less productivity, more useless knowledge (Added in Destinations)
• Unverified reports indicate the world may have ended last week (Added in Destinations)
• Jackpot winner to celebrate by making pile of money, swimming in it (Added in Destinations)
• Local comedian finds humor in quirks of everyday life (Added in Destinations)
• Weddings, parties shown to result in happy memories (Added in Destinations)
• Local hairdresser unable to recognize patrons wearing hats (Added in Destinations)
• Award-winning film shown on further study to not be very good (Added in Destinations)
• Charity concert attended by performers, promoters, nobody else -- promoters fired (Added in Destinations)
• International incident averted by apology (Added in Destinations)
• SimNation conspiracy theorists decry reduction in mysterious disappearances (Added in Destinations)
• Theatergoers to purchase tickets in advance (Added in Destinations)
• Fatigue shown to increase with lack of sleep (Added in Destinations)
• Lacking evidence, attorney confuses jury into acquittal (Added in Destinations)
• Meaning of life discovered, promptly forgotten, by local philosopher (Added in Destinations)
• Ruckus raised by rambunctious youths (Added in Destinations)
• ~RandomSimName~ reports nothing unusual going on nearby (Added in Destinations)
• Celebrity singing contest ends in victory for most talented singer (Added in Destinations)
• Supernatural activity suspected in unexplained phenomena (Added in Destinations)
• Sim on the Street interview: ~RandomSimName~: "Oh wow! I never get asked!" (Added in Destinations)
• Relaxation study canceled after scientists sleep through most of it (Added in Destinations)
• Lunch breaks shown to be profitable for area restaurants (Added in Destinations)

Movie Reviews

• Movie review: "The Scarlet Love Letter" -- Needs more pirates
• Movie review: "The Leavening" -- Needs more pirates
• Movie Review: "The Night Slasher 7" -- Needs more pirates
• Movie Review: "The Dinner Order" -- Needs more pirates
• Local movie critic questioned regarding pirate obsession
• Movie Review: "The Dangerous Dancer" -- Needs more pirates
• Movie Review: "The Pirate's Revenge" -- Needs more pirates
• Movie Review: "Overture and Finale" -- Needs more money (Capitalist Society)
• Movie Review: "The ~MayorName~ Saga" -- Best movie ever! (Authoritarian Society)
• Movie review: "The Lonely Pirate" -- Too many pirates (Added in Destinations)

References

[1] http://www1.reocities.com/SiliconValley/drive/2069/SimCity/SC3KNewsTicker.html